This article was written by Matt

Nerds may rule the world (ie: Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Mark Zuckerberg) but they sure need a lesson in street smarts. When New York Rep. Anthony Weiner was recently caught lying about sending out racy pictures and texts he squirmed and sniveled accordingly. But what the fuck was this idiot thinking? In the most recent light of the Tiger Woods debacle, you would guess he and others had learned something about the proper protocol of infidelity: Dodge, Deflect and Delete. However, it seems that his assumed arrogant power trip got the best of him.

Desperation at its Best

Weiner was obviously desperate to get someone to notice him as a sexual being and not the whining dickhead congressman he really is. Sending shirtless pictures with his face in full view as well as the famed pants crotch shot has spurred the media and psychologists alike to weigh in (even though they are probably all dressing up in S&M regalia, jacking to porn or defecating on one another behind closed doors). Weiner is now a pariah having allowed the hooks of all that want to see him bleed impale his career. Here is yet another example of the disconnect Americans maintain when it comes to their bodies and their sexuality. This man felt compelled to slink around looking for the validation that he was obviously not getting at home. Maybe his wife needs to take a closer look at how she viewed her husband and vice versa.

Never Hang Out Your Dirty Laundry

Being involved in a sexless marriage or having no luck getting laid can drive most men whacko. Any semblance of attention from a young, tight piece of ass makes our minds short circuit and our cocks go sniffing. But there are more discreet ways to go about it.

• Never use your real name
• Never use your real email or Twitter account (duh)
• Always pay in cash for anything untoward
• Dodge, deflect and delete everything from your phone and computer

Understanding that any slip up could destroy your family and career is essential. If you are going to live on the razor’s edge then do so like James Bond would and cover your tracks.

If You Piss People Off, They will Lie in Wait

Now that every media whore is hopping on the ‘Weiner-Wagon’ they are all yapping their big jaws about ethics and cover-ups and blah, blah, blah. What they are really saying is “Damn, I’m glad I didn’t get caught, let me divert everyone’s attention to this numbskull.” The thing is that when Weiner tried to squirm out of the initial allegation he exhibited the number one red flag of guilt, anger. By lashing out at the media, Weiner created a vengeful hailstorm waiting to rein down on his head, which is exactly what happened once the media dug deeper and put the pressure on.

The moral of the Anthony Weiner story is to try your hardest to accept yourself and let your freak flag fly. If you cannot do that, then dodge, deflect and delete.