This article was written by Matt

She’s a saint and you lie next to her each night thinking how lucky you are to have found such a perfect mate. Then you think about her know-it-all brother, her noisy uncle, her overbearing mother, the drunken aunt who insists on rubbing her moustache on you when you kiss hello and so on and so on. Handling in-laws you can’t stand can be a real challenge, especially when your wife thinks they are all wonderful. If the hair on the back of your neck goes up every time she plans a visit and you would just rather eat glass than go, refer to some of these pointers and you may just get through the next fifty years with minimal annoyance.

Smack Back

Just like a boxing match, wait until you find the weak spot of the in-law you can’t stand and smack ‘em down. If it’s politics, research your info and steal their thunder with more knowledge. If they have an annoying habit such as eating like a farm animal, within earshot cite to someone how you read an article about how eating with your mouth open draws in excess oxygen causing more fat cells to thrive. Make shit up, it’s fun.

Find the Humor

Certain in-laws (especially women) thrive on drama. When these people get all whiny or emotional sit back and enjoy the show. Watch how other people react. Find the humor in their ridiculous behavior however never get pulled into the conversation. It’s like a live reality show just for you.

Work, Show up Late or Leave Early

Try to work at the last minute or show up late or cleverly schedule things that will even make the wife want leave a family gathering early. It minimizes the pain of being around a bunch of goofballs too long. Get tickets to something or take her dancing, anything.

Imbibe (recovering folk, skip this step)

Saucing yourself up as much as possible when forced to be in the presence of the fat sister who won’t stop talking about negative shit is sometimes required. Take a walk and smoke a bone or down as much wine, beer or rubbing alcohol you can and when you walk back into Freakville you will be so numb it will all be good.

Chameleon

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Being around annoying in-laws is of little control when you marry into a family. Therefore, know what to expect and adjust your annoyance meter accordingly. They aren’t going to change and if you are trapped sitting on plastic covered furniture with cousin blowhard spewing ridiculous uneducated banter, join in. Turn yourself into one of them and act like a dope for a day.

Hide

Avoiding annoying family members can be easy. Hide somewhere. Go play video games with the kids or tactfully position yourself far away from the offender.

Handling in-laws you can’t stand simply takes a little initiative. Watch your wife when you visit your family, she’ll probably do the same.

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