This article was written by Matt

Okay so you made the plunge into the online dating gambit. If you are just starting out or trudging through, you need to heed some serious online dating tips that will hopefully lower your spank meter and increase your horizontal dancing card. Going to a bar these days is like dipping your toes in a petri dish of the unknown but online dating can sometimes be a peek into a person’s, hopefully honest or near honest, universe. Men lie about their age, height and income while women lie about their weight (duh), physical stature and age. If these little white lies are all you are up against, so be it (although that weight thing can be a deal breaker). Slap some of these tips into your bag of tricks and see if they get you some momentum.

Keep it Close to the Breast

Relax, this has nothing to do with boobies other than keeping all your personal info close to them. Do not be an idiot and throw down detailed information that a scammer will salivate over. Stay honest and simple.

• Do not divulge your full name.

• Get a free ghost email account. This is the email you use for unsure activity using any large server like Yahoo, Gmail, etc.

• Try not to put down any phone number. If you have to, put down your cell not your home.

• If you work in retail do not name the store, just say you work in retail.

• If you vacation every summer in the Hamptons, do not announce it no matter how cool you think you are.

Pick the Right Fishing Pole

Know what you want and search for it the right way. If you want to get laid go on the ‘I want to get laid’ sites. If you want to have a relationship, get married, play tickle my ass in the shower, sign up accordingly. Do not just post and hope, specify.

It’s All About Your Mug and Bottle

Online dating photos are usually a disappointment. When you are in contact with someone ask them outright if their photo is recent and how recent (ask when it was taken). Also, make sure you get a recent body shot because an obese person with a nice face is just that and there is nothing wrong with that unless it is misrepresented. That leaves you. Do not wear a hat, sunglasses or a burka. Post something recent that shows you in your best light which will be exactly what you look like when you meet. Hint: Post a picture of yourself doing something active and interest will grow.

Ask Not, Have Not

In your first call or email ask the person questions about them regarding their profile. Everyone wants to feel important so do not yabber about your ant farm collection until you are asked.

These are some of many online dating tips. Basically, go with your gut, be nice and use deodorant.

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