This article was written by Matt

Ahhhh, fatherhood, isn’t it awesome? You watch your wife get split open like a hairy melon and out pops this wet, squealing alien attached to a cable that looks a lot like the extension cord you just got on sale at the hardware store. You hold it, try not to drop it and have no idea that this is your permanent roommate about to demand 150% of your undivided attention. How to get through the first 4 weeks of fatherhood will be a challenge but once you are in the groove you will not be able to stop yourself from rushing home to see the little bastard.

Shower the Mrs.

When you are still in the hospital, act as though your woman has just won the Heisman. Dote on her with propped up pillows, deliveries of her favorite food, flowers, anything that will make her remember what a gem you were during the whole thing.

Are You Prepared?

Before you bring home the baby make sure you are stocked in diapers, wipes, diaper disposal, formula (or breast pump), stupid baby clothes, etc. Try to coordinate visitors and keep the wife as comfortable as possible, especially if she had a cesarean.

Get Off

No, this does not mean you should spank to more porn. Try to get paternity leave from work. The longer you are home the easier things will fall into place. If you cannot get off save your money for some in-home nursing help and surprise your wife. Especially if you can get a night nurse to feed and change the baby while you and the wife slumber.

Do Not Blow a Gasket

Slow down. The first four weeks of fatherhood can be a pressure cooker. If you are both getting up through the night you will feel beyond drained during the day. Set up a schedule to alternate late night care. Also, there may be hormone highs and lows for the wife so be patient. It is time to find your maternal instinct by staying calm, nurturing and re-assuring. Ugh.

Take Care of Yourselves

You will not do anyone any good if you get sick from a challenged immune system due to lack of sleep and the high stress of a screaming midget. Take vitamins, eat right and try to get to the gym or go for walks if weather permits. Take this time to bond with your son or daughter as well as your wife. Talk to your baby. Massage your baby. Enjoy every nuance.

Kid Doc and the Like

Make sure you have an excellent pediatrician before you come home. There will be many unknowns the first weeks so have someone you can confide in. This also includes a trusted family member that is not too meddling but has infant experience.

Do not worry too much about how to get through the first 4 weeks of fatherhood. Before you know it, you will be a shit slinging diaper changing pro.

Image provided by: https://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=789